Ask the hairball

     We got a letter from Mary Jane today. She claimed her father died and left most of his possessions to his two European brothers. She says that two men came and claimed to be her uncles. However, she knows, from a reliable source, that they are imposters, but she can’t prove it. What should she do? Well Mary Jane, first off your reliable resource could testify if it were a person. Secondly, if that is not possible, ask them questions that only you and they would know, such as your father’s birthday or the maiden name of his mother in front of a judge or audience. Thirdly, you could have them sign their names and have a judge compare them to letters your father may have had. I hope this helps in your predicament and I hope these two men don’t rob you blind. (Chapter 29) 

Temperance

     Why should we as Americans have to live within the presence of drunks.  A little sobriety would do this town good! Some men you can’t get within tem feet of, because your eyes will water from the stench of too much whisky. Of course when someone is hobbling around drunk, no one really wants to come closer than that anyway.  There are men in this town that get drunk and beat their kids and wives. Yeah they aren’t the men of the house, but women and children don’t deserve that kind of treatment.  Alcohol can cause a man to scream and yell threats then fall to sleep and not remember a single thing the next morning.  (Chapter 30 iPhone pg 853)

No show, don’t go

     There are tickets being sold in town for a Shakespearian experience for ten cents apiece, 25 cents for an upper class seat. DO NOT bother going. These tickets are reasonably priced if they were real Shakespearian experience as promised, however this production is not. It is a con put on by two men who claim to be a descendents of a king and a descendent of a duke.  These two men come out on stage almost naked, then ramble on for just a few minutes, then it’s over. Upon seeing it, most thought they were going to intermission, but when the two men came out to bow, the crowd roared with resentment. In an interview with one of the men who saw the show the first night, he was asked if he would recommend it to anyone. His answer was “Yes, I’s gonna tell everyone. If got conned ain’t no since in nobody else getting conned. Everyone should be in the same boat.” (Chapter 23 iPhone pg.635, not a direct quote) There are reports that the man claiming to be the king showed up at a religious meeting a few towns north. He allegedly jumped on stage claiming to be a pirate. He left with over $87. (Chapter 20 iPhone pg. 546)   

Long time feud starts local battle, leaving several dead

     The Grangerfords and Shepherdsons have had a longstanding family feud.  In an interview some of the remaining men were asked what started the battle. The answer from the Grangerfords was something along the lines of the oldest daughter’s running away with a Shepherdson boy in a story parallel to that of Shakespeare’s Romo and Juliet.  In an interview with some Shepherdson survivors, they claimed the Grangerfords attacked unprovoked and they only fought back in self-defense.  When asked why the original feud began, neither side could entirely remember why the feud had even started. (Chapter 18 iPhone pg. 447) All of the information they knew was that this quarrel commenced over a law suit and when one man won the other shot him. Neither side knew who won and who did the shooting. All they were concerned about was whether a person was a friend or foe. The youngest reported dead were Buck Grangerford, 14, and George Jaxon, 13. (Chapter 18 iPhone pg. 477& pg. 480) There are reports that Buck Grangerford shot at Harney Shepherdson earlier in the week and Harney is the boy the oldest Grangerford girl, Sophia, ran away with. There are rumors as to how the two would have made these plans, but the most logical is that the two somehow made contact during church, because the two families do attend the same church.